Love Island is back!!!!: Episode one as it happened

 

The wait is over, the drama, the kinis (filled with surgical enhancements) the sun, the boys and girls who dumb themselves down for our entertainment yes Love Island is back but for the first time in the winter and in South Africa. 

Changes recap 

So we’ve already said that Love Island is doing its first winter series but in sunny South Africa. The only other obvious change is that Laura Whitmore is the new host, filling the boots of previous host Caroline Flack.

How things went down ? 

The familiar voice of IIan, Love Island’s beloved savage of a narrator, welcomes us into the new season. Flicking through images of the new three-story villa, a shot of the bigger hideaway and introduces us to Laura Whitmore the new host and without a further ado, it started.

First up is Siannise and Paige who move into the villa faster than you could say “bimbo” entering with excitement. Chatting over a glass of wine gassing over the villa and complementing each other’s looks, with annoying insincere tones in their voices. We were given their intros “and we learn that Paige is the ex-girlfriend of singer Lewis Capaldi and Siannise is Bristols Princess Jasmine….nice

 

Next up is Leanne from London who enters the villa welcomed by ……. You guessed it Siannise and Paige’s insincere compliments “you’re beautiful” this “you’re beautiful” that, as if Boohoo and Prettylittlething, aren’t around looking to sign people; because obviously they want people with missing teeth instead. From Leanne’s intro, we learn that she’s situationship prone and is afraid of commitment, an interesting contestant for “Love” Island.

Fourth is Shaughna who makes her move into the the villa, with her pink bikini on. From her intro you might think “what is she doing there” as she reveals she’s a Democratic Services Officer. We also learn she’s been cheated on in the past and she had to tie one of her ex’s shoelaces …..nice

The ladies go off into a corner of the villa talking about their lives outside, their past relationships and what they are looking for in the villa….. and trust me there is a whole lot of “tall dark and handsome ” being mentioned.

Last of the girls to enter villa is a Rochelle Humes clone …. “nah I’m playin” it’s actually Rochelle’s sister Sophie from Essex, with her gold bikini, her slender figure and a vocal tone which is gonna take a hell of a lot of getting used to. She makes her presence and interests known.

So to the main event …

The age old Love Island tradition where the girls line up waiting for a dude to couple up with.

First up is Nas a builder with a Caribbean and Asian mix as he mentions in his intro. He seems to announce himself in a big way but he himself is tiny and with “tall dark and handsome” echoing in a little corner minutes earlier, Its safe to say his odds were against him. When Laura the host asked the girls to step forward if they interested not a foot moved. It was peak!!! The power was left in Nas’s hands and he chose to couple up with Siannise

Next we have Callum a cheeky scaffolder from the 0161!! Moving down the stairs with the ladies excitement, he impressed and ended up with Shaughna.

Following the bubbly manc was big posh Ollie a tall blonde dude who describes himself as an Alpha male. In his intro he came out with an eye raising comment “when my dad dies I’m gonna be a lord” … charming! He’s so “charming” in fact no-one stepped forward for him. He chose to couple up with Paige.

Along came coffee boy Connor with his insanely white teeth his low fade and his interesting tattoos. Connor had a bit of a cheek which was well received. So well received that the ever so “charming” Ollie almost lost Paige to him but Sophie beat her to him ..Peak!!

 

 

So there was one girl left and surprise, surprise it was Leanne, once again the age old Love Island tradition of leaving the black girl on the shelf came into play but then the final man rolled thru!!!

Former footballer turned police officer Mike rolled through he moved with a different kind of swagger, his radiant two piece outfit on show and was oozing with confidence, Leanne stepped forward for Mike and of course Mike chose Leanne and it sent twitter into meltdown.

 

After a brilliant start to the new season ….

The contestants all took get to know each other and who they coupled up with. Siannise made it clear to the private camera she ain’t feeling Nas. Leanne is shocked to learn that Mikes a cop and then asks “does he catch murderers ” The boys and girls go off in their little groups to talk about who they coupled up with.

When night time falls we see the funny moment when Ollie tells Paige he’s cheated in the past. She then talks about his infidelity being a “red flag” later Ollie reveals he owns land and Paige then says “maybe she was quick to judge him”

Queue the dancing and dead house remixes…

The contestants get a text (pretty much the only form of communication in the show besides talking) saying two more people will be joining them in the villa ending with #doubletrouble. With the wait and speculation they arrived!!!

Blonde bombshell twins Eve and Jess from London entered the villa, strutting their stuff moved over with confidence eying up the competition and also their options, pondering which one of theses men is worth £50k. The tone had changed the contestants learned that the twins had to couple up with two of the guys, putting two ladies who are currently coupled up at risk.

It’s gonna be a mazza!!!

Till next time guys